operation harelip BJ is a go
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I forget how to act sober
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
