Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize