I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
being pregnant is like rehab
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
