Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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