bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
