it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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