That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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