You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i was born a porn star she said
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
