she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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