this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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