literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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