I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
