how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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