So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
