dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
foreskin is a definite game changer
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
