Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Dignity is for republicans.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
