Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
