have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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