when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
