They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
