Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
