With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize