I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
