Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
