It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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