Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
