My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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