16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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