If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
