If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
