Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
