He is such a slut. More and more my type.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize