Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
