No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
