Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
