She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
