dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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