Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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