So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize