i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Randomize
