My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
