PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize