He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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