Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
