dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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