Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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