My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm getting married
To pizza
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize