We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just found puke in my bra..
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
