Betty ford says i'm here all night
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
