I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
