she looked like the bat from fern gully.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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