And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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