He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
