There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Randomize
