I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
