If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
