Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize