all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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