At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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