That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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