...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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