Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
