Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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