WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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