my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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