Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Green mimosas i think yes
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
