"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
