I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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