This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
