you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
