I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize