new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
