Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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