And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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