She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
