I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
