what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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